The Passing of the World (1 Cor. 7:29-35): Jesus Loves Singles

Jesus Loves Singles
1 Corinthians 7:29-35

INTRODUCTION:
These are all hypotheticals but we begin by considering the situations in life of single Christians. A young lady has used online dating services and speed dating experiences but she rarely finds anyone who interests her or is interested in her.

A young man is recently divorced, painfully, but he can’t seem to get another relationship moving in the right direction.

Another woman is divorced after fifteen years of marriage and she struggles to figure out who she is as a single woman.

A final example - a man lives with his mother and rarely dates. He is very shy and does not believe that he will ever get married.

According to U. S. Census data from 2017, there are 110.6 million single adults in the United States. That’s 45.2% of the American adult population. There are 15.05 million families in the US with a single mom and 6.49 million families with a single dad. I married at the age of 24; Rachel was 21. The average age for marriage today, for women, is 27.4 years and for men, 29.5 years. That’s the longest Americans have ever waited to get married.

That means we have a lot of singles in their twenties and with the divorce rate as high as it is, we have a lot of single moms and dads. Which means the church has a lot of singles and there are a lot of singles in the world who need to be in the church.

KEY THOUGHTS:
People can be single by choice, like Jesus or Paul. Or, they can become single through no fault of their own; either they don’t find a proper mate or they experience death or divorce of their mate. Historically, women have not been encouraged to take the initiative in relationships which means they can feel like things are just not in their control.

If someone has a mental, emotional, or physical disability, they can face particular challenges. Being single and being lonely are also two different things. There are many single people who love their life, have no regrets, and would not necessarily change their status in life.

What I want to do is make sure our singles, and any singles we meet in an evangelistic setting, know that we welcome singles and we do not want singles to feel like they are left out of the activities of the church. We have singles who do contribute to the work of the church in important ways and we value them and their talents.

WHAT IS OUR ATTITUDE TOWARD SINGLES?
If you are a parent, do you make your single child feel inadequate because he or she has not married yet? Do you value grandchildren so much you are willing to put unnecessary pressure on your child to get married?

“Single people must not let family or friends put undue pressure on them to get married. If they feel like they have to be in a relationship in order to be accepted by others, then they are susceptible to being used and hurt by others, or they will use and hurt others in order to be in a relationship of convenience” - Alan Corry.

Sometimes engagements break up and the residual pain is so much that someone just doesn’t want to risk it again. They become “gun shy.”

How would you define a “well-adjusted” single? Is there anything we can do to help support, strengthen, and encourage the singles in our congregation?

For our singles, how would you describe your current stage in life?

Lonely
Independent
Self-focused
Free
Impoverished
Spontaneous
Burdened
Outward focused
Isolated
Deprived
Wealthy
Inward focused

While most of us are married or have been married, it is important to recognize that the Bible does not define happiness in terms of marriage. “You are happy if you are married; you are unhappy if you are not married.” The Bible defines happiness in terms of our relationship with God. Which means that I and others need to be careful that we do not portray Christian singles as being, somehow, “incomplete.”

If we are not careful, we can portray the idea that if a woman is single, she must not be worthy or if a man is single, he must be gay. Those types of messages strike at the sense of self-worth, independence, and value that all of us ought to have as God’s creation.

Let’s read the account of Anna, who lived a very long time as a widow in Luke 2:36-37. It is important to remember that the key to happiness and contentment is found in Jesus Christ and our service to Him. Married or single.

PAUL’S SINGLENESS:
Let’s read Paul’s thoughts about himself, in the context of marriage and singleness: 1 Corinthians 7:8, 24-35.

What Paul teaches here is that we need to pursue that status in life that will help us be devoted to the Lord. When life is over, we will not be physically married anymore. But when life is over, it is important that our relationship with Jesus Christ be as strong as it can be. When we are judged by God on the day of judgment, our marital status will not be a factor taken into consideration.

Jesus, Himself, was, of course, single and everyone recognizes that Jesus lived a life that was full, complete, and contributed extraordinarily well to society - even if we don’t take into consideration His sacrificial death on the cross. In other words, Jesus, even as a single person, spent His life serving others, helping others, teaching others the message of God. Jesus was not hindered in His ministry to God in any way as a single man.

ADVICE TO OUR SINGLES:
Live life to its fullest as you seek God’s purpose and direction. Accept singleness as a calling that allows you to do things for Christ that you might not be able to do if you were married. Seek God first in all that you do and don’t think that marriage is the highest calling in life: marriage to Christ is. Every person, in Christ, is complete and whole as they are.

One single woman commented: “Chastity is a requisite of Christian singleness. Furthermore, chastity is possible. There will always be somebody to suggest that such thinking is legalistic, unreasonable, and unlikely to succeed. My reply can only be: ‘When it’s bigger than I am, so is God.’” - Rosalie de Rosset

Get involved. Keep your mind and your body active in doing good, productive things: hobbies, sports, volunteer work. Our church has lots of activities in which almost everyone can be involved. The young professionals are active and involved in each other’s lives. We have activities that encourage fellowship and sharing and that will help us get to know each other, including our singles.

Every person needs a group of friends whom they trust and with whom they can share activities and interests. If you are a parent or a friend of a single person who seems discontented with his or her situation, pray that God will help them find their unique role and purpose in life, in His plans. Pray that God will use family and friends to help him or her find appreciation, contentment, for their situation in life. Pray that God will give him or her wisdom to see opportunities for service and help them serve Jesus with joy.

Finally, relative to advice — learn to love “quiet.” Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. Having time to contemplate in solitude can help us listen to God more and not be distracted by life. There’s nothing wrong with being single - just don’t do it alone.

Take home message: Singles are important to God. He loves them and the church needs them.

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