Leaving a Legacy of Love (Eph. 5:22-33)

Leaving a Legacy of Love
Ephesians 5:22-23

INTRODUCTION:
There is a modern day parable about a wealthy art collector who collected rare and expensive treasures of art. The man had one son who died relatively young. And the father loved him dearly and mourned his loss greatly. When the wealthy art collector died, he stipulated in his will that his art would be auctioned. But first, a portrait of his son would have to be auctioned first.

At the auction, no one wanted the picture of the son, until a black servant paid $1 for the picture because he knew the boy and had loved him. Then, the auctioneer read the next statement in the will: whoever bought the picture of the boy also received the whole art collection!

Men and husbands, we need to love our wives God has given to us so that we can leave a lasting legacy with our children. If we want to leave a legacy with our kids, aside from our commitment to Jesus Christ, the best legacy we can leave is to love their mom.

Let’s meditate on Ephesians 5:22-33 this morning where Paul teaches that we husbands need to love our wives as Christ loved the church. If we want to be the husbands Christ calls us to be, we need to lead and love. To lead our wife without loving her is to be a dictator. To love our wife without leading her is to be a wimp. If we want to leave a lasting legacy for our children, let us love our wives with real, authentic love. Because the love between a husband and wife has to be real before there can be love between a father and his children.

DADS, LEAD YOUR WIFE - Eph. 5:22-23:
Men, we need to recognize, first, that we and our wife are equals. Gal. 3:26-28. Our differences have to do with our function and our role, not our value or importance. And our wives should see that understanding in how we treat them.

Secondly, we need to recognize that we have the authority in the home. When Paul tells wives to “submit” to their husbands, he uses a word that means “to line up” under the authority of someone. It is a military term. There is a chain of command in God’s world: 1 Corinthians 11:3. Just as Jesus Christ submitted to His Father, so wives need to submit to their husband. It is a choice that God calls you wives to make. John 6:38.

Thirdly, husbands we need to accept responsibility for what happens in our homes. 1 Tim. 3:4. We need to “manage” our homes well.

Fourthly, we need to know our wives. If we grow distant from our wives, emotionally, spiritually, physically, then our relationship will die. Our relationship will cease to function as God intended it. 1 Peter 3:7. We need to know our wives. We need to know her temperament, her personality, her strengths, her weaknesses, her breaking points. She is a unique creation of God and we need to become experts on her. And this knowledge comes through: spending time together and talking to each other.

If we are filled with God, then we will be filled with love for our wife (1 John 4:8). How you lead your wife will influence how you love your children.

DADS, LOVE YOUR WIFE! - Eph. 5:25:
At a wedding ceremony, the preacher asked the groom: “Do you take this woman for better or for worse? For richer or for poorer? In sickness and in heath?” And the man said, “Yes, no, yes, no, no, yes.”

Relationships based on feelings are not going to be stable and they are not going to last. The only real stability in marriage is found in a determined commitment that two people hold toward each other when emotions fluctuate wildly.

We need an:

Unconditional love - Eph. 5:25. “Agape” love that wants what is best for the other person. This compels us to treat our wife as uniquely designed for us (Gen. 2:18). Proverbs 19:14; 31:10.

Unreserved love - Eph. 5:25b. John 15:13. 2 Cor. 8:9.

Undefiled love - Eph. 5:26-27. We should do our best to protect our wives from the pollutions of the world, shield them from the contamination in the world. When we lived in Romania, our mission team had taken a mini-vacation as a whole team. On the way back, we were waiting at the train station, outside, and I was standing with my back toward the wall. Rachel was standing in front of me, facing me, Daren and Eric, my two male coworkers were standing on my right. The other two wives were not a part of our conversation and were standing on the left. Then a teen Romanian walked by and goosed Rachel in the ribs, on each side. Eric took off and chased the boy away; Daren also assumed a defensive posture. And I did not react at all. And my reaction was the talk of our mission team the 4-5 hours on the train on the way home! Wives need to know that they are protected from the world by their husbands.

We need our relationship to be based on, influenced by, and constantly immersed in the Word of God and its sanctifying and purifying influence. We need to grow spiritually as we grow together.

Understanding love - Eph. 5:28-30. If our wife hurts, we should know it. We should feel it. We should respond to her. IF she feels overloaded or discouraged, we need to respond other need. When she feels pulled in every direction, we should help. When she rejoices, we should rejoice. When she weeps, we should weep.

Some kids bought their mom a Mother’s Day card one year and on the front, it read: “Relax, put your feet up, have some coffee and have some tea, read the paper, watch TV, don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t wash, don’t iron, just do what makes you glad. In other words, for this one day…” And the inside reads: “just pretend you’re Dad.” That is funny and sad…

Dads, we need to love our wives with sensitivity and with selflessness.

Unending love. Eph. 5:31. Marriage is not disposable. We leave our parents and we are “glued” to our wives and that love should last throughout this life. But it will last only if we give it attention and nurture it.

Uncommon love. Eph. 5:32-33. God’s honor and reputation are at stake in our marriage. Our marriage is supposed to reflect the situation between Christ and His church. Our marriage is supposed to be a vivid portrayal and a living illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church.

Take home message: The greatest thing we can do for our kids, besides introducing them to Jesus, is to love their mom. When we do that, the door is open for us to love our children.

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