The Art of Loving: Let’s be Courteous (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

The Art of Loving: Giving the Gift of Courtesy
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

INTRODUCTION:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath,” the wise man tells us in Proverbs 15:1. For the same reason, kindness can cause misunderstandings and mistrust and hostility to be easily resolved.

People tend to respond to you in a way that reflects how you respond to them. When we were living in Romania, we observed that a lot of Romanians on the street would not look up, would not make eye contact, would not smile as they were walking down the street. They would be friendly toward you, if you showed them friendliness.

Charlie Middleton was a mountain man who had a way with horses. He lived a simple life, just him and nature. People would bring him their colts to be broken to the saddle. Charlie broke horses differently. He would send hours with a horse, feeding it, letting it get used to him. Gradually he would start touching the horse, rubbing its back, putting a sack on it and eventually a saddle. The way Charlie broke horses, they never bucked.

A man came one day to pick up two horses he had left with Charlie. The man grabbed the halter of one horse to lead him into the trailer. When the horse got to the wooden ramp leading up into the trailer, it stopped and pulled back. The horse did not want to go up that ramp. The man tried jerking and pulling on the halter but the more he pulled, the more resistant the horse became. As the wrestling match continued, the owner got frustrated and angry.

Charlie had gently led the other horse into a second trailer. But instead of dragging the horse into the trailer, he had allowed the horse to get use to the ramp and the trailer. Charlie allowed the horse to look around, to smell the ramp, and to check out the surroundings for a minute. When the horse seemed satisfied that everything was alright, he walked up the ramp on his own. No struggle, no fuss, no strong-arming the horse.

Charlie was a master! Charlie illustrates an important point about the “art of loving.” Be courteous and patient with our children and others, allowing them time to understand things before we expect them to accept and act on them. Willard Tate writes that “courtesy is the oil of human kindness that makes all relationships - in the home, at work, in the church, in society - run smoothly.”

The first Sunday of the month (unless I’m prevented from doing it!) this year, we are talking about the “art of loving” as Paul talks about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. He tells us in verse 4: “love is patient” and in verse 5: “Love is not rude.”

IT IS “IN” TO BE RUDE!:
At a small community college, the basketball coach understood how easily it is for a sports team to be separate from the rest of the students on campus. He wanted his team to be a part of campus life.

The college had a talent show one night and the basketball team went as a group. One girl got up to show her talent, but it wasn’t very good. And the basketball team? They laughed at the girl, right out loud, and made no attempt to be discreet in their behavior. That poor girl stopped laughing and began to cry. The basketball team kept right on laughing.

Family, God didn’t put people on this earth to be laughed at. There was a friend, named Ray, at Faulkner who was easy to poke fun at. And I did. I won’t tell you what I laughed at because it embarrasses me to even think about it, much less talk about it. But before my conscience caught up with my wickedness several years after graduation, I heard that he had died of cancer. I can never apologize to him for not practicing kindness. God put people on this earth to care for. People with loving hearts know that; people who love like Jesus loves, know that. They show courtesy to others, even if their best performance is not good.

Why can’t people think a little about how their actions affect others? Most of us — just don’t think! When we don’t put our brains into gear before we put our mouths into motion, we end up being rude to other people.

Being rude is not just for the younger generation either. I’ve seen old people throw trash on the ground, deliberately, as if someone else enjoys picking up their trash. That’s just rude.

Why can’t we think about the impact our words and actions have on others? Why do our state governments spend millions on keeping our highways clean of trash? Why can’t men lift the toilet seat before they use the commode? Why can’t we let other drivers merge in front of us in heavy traffic?

Listen to the words of God’s spokesman: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph 4:32).

In Philippians 2:3-5, Paul wrote again: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.”

THE KEY TO COURTESTY:
Here is how to live love in kindness: Imagine that your role and that of the other person were reversed. Put your feet into the other person’s moccasins. Jesus said, “Treat others the way you want them to treat you” (Matt. 7:12). Simply put, that requires us to be sympathetic.

Billions of words have been written in books about the key to success and happiness, and joy. If you boiled all that human-wisdom down and squeezed out all the excess, you would have something resembling the golden rule!

Here is a test to see how well you are living the golden rule in your life: Suppose that you were given $1 for every kind word or deed you said or did for someone else, even if it was only a friendly smile. But, you would have to give back 0.50 cents for every unkind word or deed you did. At the end of the first day, would you be richer or poorer?

To word this another way - we need to respect each other. Respect begins with recognizing that each person is a creation of God, made in His image, and the object of His incredible love. Think about this… If I don’t respect you because you are made in the image of God, why should I respect you? Isn’t that point - that we are all made in the image of God - the foundation for respect in our society?

Most of the evil and wickedness we see in society is because our culture has tried to systematically remove God from our culture. In many people’s minds, God is simply irrelevant. When you destroy reverence for God, you automatically destroy the foundation for showing respect for others. If I don’t love and respect the One who made you and want to please Him, then why should I ever put your interests ahead of my own?

In Romans 12:10, Paul wrote: “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”

Take home message: Let’s us practice the art of loving by being kind to those around us. Each individual is made in the image of God.

Evangelism conversation starter: “Where would you say you are in your spiritual pilgrimage?”